I don’t think she gets the concept.

[15:49]  Deight Boccara: So you know your profile says “(ps I have no RP limits but will not do poo or piss)”, right?
[15:49]  Sherry Toulon: yes
[15:50]  Deight Boccara: What is wrong with this sentence?
[15:50]  Sherry Toulon: I started with no limits but then found I did not like it when some one put poo in my face
[15:50]  Sherry Toulon: I know
[15:50]  Sherry Toulon: let me reword
[15:50]  Deight Boccara: Thank you, something like that inspires me to go stabbing.
[15:50]  Sherry Toulon: read again
[15:51]  Deight Boccara: (ps I have no RP limits appart from i will not do poo or piss)
[15:51]  Deight Boccara: There is still something horribly wrong with this
[15:51]  Sherry Toulon: what ?
[15:52]  Deight Boccara: Try: (RP Limits: No scat or piss)
[15:52]  Deight Boccara: Since, you know, those are limits, and starting out with “no limits” means that you’re lying
[15:52]  Sherry Toulon: what does scat mean ?
[15:52]  Deight Boccara: Scat is poo
[15:53]  Sherry Toulon: I really do have no limits but I will not do poo
[15:54]  Deight Boccara: No. Not doing poo is a limit. Saying you have no limits doesn’t work when you do, in fact, have limits.
[15:55]  Sherry Toulon: the wording stays

Caledon has big balls.

I am horrible at victorian roleplay. Especially when it’s at a formal ball, where the merely weird roleplay gets cranked up to something vaugely scary.

[17:34] Deight Boccara: Pardon me Lyra, but I’ve heard you read books.
[17:34] Lyra Lobo: Very fine to meet you *smiles*
[17:34] Lyra Lobo: Yes, I love literature…and am delighted to make your acquaintenace, Lady Boccara
[17:34] Lyra Lobo: please let me introduce my friend Farely…also a lover of literature
[17:34] Deight Boccara: Thank you. very much
[17:35] Deight Boccara: Good evening, Farely!
[17:35] Farely Scarborough: Pleased to make your aquaintance, Ms. Boccara
[17:35] Deight Boccara: You enjoy reading books… What is that like?

Visitors from the Past

I live in Caledon, a victorian themed sim. Why I live there is a mystery to me, especially since I’m usually dressed as a robot half the time. But the fact that I don’t fit in usually doesn’t make itself apparent; unless a roleplayer happens to come by.

Jorge Fremont: Good evening, madam…
Deight Boccara: Evening!
Jorge Fremont: How are you this evening?
Deight Boccara: I am good!
Jorge Fremont: Supurb!
Deight Boccara: What is up in this bitch, good sir?
Jorge Fremont: Pardon, madam?
Deight Boccara: What is “up” in this “hizzy”, “cuz”
Jorge Fremont: Well… we are simply enjoying the Halloween celebrations across Caledon.
Jorge Fremont: There are a couple of activities going on, but most everyone…
Jorge Fremont: has gone to the Mew sim…
Deight Boccara: Hehe
Jorge Fremont: and the Haunted house/castle…
Deight Boccara: Well nothing’s going on on my parcel except for me being the worst caledonian ever
Jorge Fremont: And why, pray tell, is that, madam?
Deight Boccara: Because I am wearing a t-shirt, and talk in gangsta slang
Jorge Fremont: Well, to each their own, madam….
Jorge Fremont: Have you been a resident of Caledon for a while?
Deight Boccara: Yeah, for a month or two.
Deight Boccara: Which makes it all horrible that I only have one object on my parcel
Jorge Fremont: Well, anything good takes time…
Jorge Fremont: I’m certain that your plans will eventually congeal towards your…
Jorge Fremont: ultimate goal.
Deight Boccara: My ultimate goal is having something that isn’t wholly horrible
Jorge Fremont: If I may.. what is your goal?
Deight Boccara: My goal is something cool
Deight Boccara: And that doesn’t get me banned
Jorge Fremont: “cool”, as in….?
Deight Boccara: “awesome”
Deight Boccara: “totally rad”
Deight Boccara: “kickin it old school yo”
Deight Boccara: “peanuts in the hizzy yaknowwhatimsayin”
Deight Boccara: “pleunkation”
Jorge Fremont: Hmmm… well, good luck with that, madam….
Deight Boccara: “superb”
Deight Boccara: I think that’s all the synonyms
Jorge Fremont: Ah…..
Jorge Fremont: Do you have property here?
Deight Boccara: This is my property
Jorge Fremont: Oh! I was not aware of that – sorry…
Deight changes the land name to “Jorge Fremont’s House”
Deight Boccara: Now you own property in Caledon!
Jorge Fremont: pardon?
Deight Boccara: Check the parcel name
Jorge Fremont: Ah… quite ingenious, madam!
Deight Boccara: Now you owe me 800 lindens rent until you die
Jorge Fremont: I’ll make sure it will be in the post….
Jorge Fremont: Well, madam, I must take my leave….
Deight Boccara: Seeya, blood!
Jorge Fremont: It has been a pleasure talking with you…
Jorge Fremont: you are certainly one of the more colorful individuals here…

What really happens in Second Life

Forget what the lying liars say. The real reason people play Second Life is because of all the sex clubs, because most of these people are too perverted and creepy to have sex in real life. To prove this, I rezzed into a sexclub, and within a minute I heard this conversation

People get mad at me for weird reasons

The other day I was hosting at some lame casino, when Elka walks in. So, I greet her, and she responds weirdly to my greeting

[21:25]  You: Elka!
[21:26]  elka Bossman: yeah that could be me if there was no capital :P

So, I think there might be a problem, so I check her profile. Sure enough, she is really anal about having her name be capitalized. So, I attempt to apologize in IM, and this happens:

A Rape in Cyberspace

Today I was just cold chillin’ in Hard Alley, when all of a sudden some guy pops out of a sewer and IMs me to see if I want to get raped. I thought to myself, “Well, who in the hell would turn down rape?”.

IM: Kareem Fandango: you looking for some fun babe?
IM: Deight Boccara: Um sure
IM: Kareem Fandango: :) you into roleplaying, or just straight hot sex?
IM: Deight Boccara: Either one is just fine with me, sugar
IM: Kareem Fandango: You into BDSM?
IM: Deight Boccara: British Dalmation Society for Men?
IM: Deight Boccara: Not really, no
IM: Kareem Fandango: lol, no
IM: Kareem Fandango: A roleplay where we pretend im your master/ im raping you :P Popular on secondlife
IM: Deight Boccara: Oh dear! That sounds absolutely horrible!
IM: Deight Boccara: I’m so in on this
IM: Kareem Fandango: *grins*
IM: Kareem Fandango: i have to go to my spot, ill teleport you ;)
Deight Boccara: Howdy, um Master
Kareem Fandango: what first sexy?
Deight Boccara: Um, first I think I should cook you dinner
Kareem Fandango: meat? *wink*
Deight Boccara: An exquisite delicate swan smothered in a delicate white zinfindale sauce
Deight Boccara: Followed up by a fucking huge bowl of M&Ms
Kareem Fandango: forget that just take your clothes off and get in the cage
Kareem Fandango: lol
Deight Boccara: That is a very small cage
Kareem Fandango: the less you can move, the better ;)
Deight hops on the cage and starts dryhumping the empty cage.
Kareem Fandango: the pink ball :P
Kareem Fandango: animate your avatar
Deight hops into the small cage. Kareem Fandango then attaches the free copy penis and starts anally raping Deight
Deight Boccara: Ow hey stop that!
Deight Boccara: This is most certainly rape!
Deight Boccara: Yes I’m quite positive of this!
Kareem Fandango: shut up bitch….stop whining or ill fill your mouth up
Kareem Fandango: show me your horror
Deight Boccara: Oh no! I am horrored!
Deight Boccara: I feel like a dirty whore, but then come to my senses and realize that I’m not being paid for this so these feelings are completely unfounded!
Deight Boccara: But still dirty!
Deight Boccara: Like I’ve been wrestling a vaccum cleaner
IM: Kareem Fandango: to show horror, the sexiest way is by saying what you are thinking or what you are doing
IM: Kareem Fandango: like this
IM: Kareem Fandango: *tears in eyes, tries to forget where she is and forget the cock of the man she cant escape
Deight Boccara: *tears in eyes, tries to forget that she’s being taken roughly from behind by a greasy virgin!!!*
IM: Deight Boccara: You are a greasy virgin, right?
Deight Boccara: Oh thank goodness you stopped
Deight Boccara: Oh you TPd out
Deight Boccara: Um, permission to come out of the cage, master?
Deight Boccara: … Master?

SL Escort

I’m a complete noob at SL sex, so I decided to go out one night and find myself an escort. So, after looking for 9 minutes, I found exactly the person who would teach me the ins and outs of going in and out.

Boomquisha Jackson: hi honey
Deight Boccara: Oh hi!
Deight Boccara: I was shopping for an escort. I’m kinda new to this
Deight Boccara: What’s up?
Boomquisha Jackson: well I’m an escort and I like shopping
Deight Boccara: Really? Awesome!
Boomquisha Jackson: so what can I do for you honey?
Deight Boccara: Um, I guess you can have sex with me in exchange for money?
Deight Boccara: I mean I think that’s how it works
Boomquisha Jackson: well yes that is the basics
Boomquisha Jackson: the next question is what are you into honey?
Deight Boccara: Um, sex?
Deight Boccara: At least I think that’s why I’m here
Deight Boccara: I guess the boring regular sex would be good
Deight Boccara: I don’t want to be tied up and hung while being whipped
Deight Boccara: That doesn’t sounds like much fun
Deight Boccara: So you want to do this?
Boomquisha Jackson: well that also sounds good to me
Boomquisha Jackson: it is 750 for 30 mins
Deight Boccara: Ok
Boomquisha Jackson: I will tp you, ok?
Deight Boccara: Ok!

Random Interview with Helen and Nightmare

I guess I’m going to start roaming around and finding random people to interview. Today I found Nightmare and Helen standing around their parcel in Takes.

Someone just tried to kill me!

hank Boffin: hello i have been sent to assasinate you
hank Boffin: /ls on
Deight Boccara: Hi
hank Boffin: /ls off
Deight Boccara: Why are you assasinating me?
Deight Boccara: That’s mean
hank Boffin: what u done wrong man u a journalist my boss must be tripping
Deight Boccara: Who is your boss?
hank Boffin: i cant say that sorry
Deight Boccara: [REDACTED]?
hank Boffin: yeh but hes gone offline now
Deight Boccara: Man why does he have it out for me?
Deight Boccara: I did nothing wrong
hank Boffin: i dont know maybe you done something to one of his friends
Deight Boccara: I might have I dunno
Deight Boccara: People get mad at me for weird reasons
Deight Boccara: People just don’t like journalists I guess
hank Boffin: ok just dont show your face in any of the big clubs for a while ill ad u as friend and give you the signe to go anywhere ok
Deight Boccara: Ok
hank Boffin: if my boss finds out u aint died once by my hands he gonna fire my ass and have me killed just after
Deight Boccara: Ow that’s not good
hank Boffin: nope
Deight Boccara: BTW can I publish this little chat but disguise your name?
hank Boffin: ok
Deight Boccara: I need to journalize this
hank Boffin: ok
hank Boffin: just dont mention my boss
Deight Boccara: “THE MAN TRIES TO KEEP INDEPENDENT JOURNALISM DOWN — A DEIGHT EXCLUSIVE”
Deight Boccara: Ok
hank Boffin: thx well cya try not to get noticed by all the big players
Deight Boccara: Ok seeya
Deight Boccara shouts: Have fun killing people!

Dr. Vet in Furnation

This morning I was watching The Price is Right, and at the end of it Bob Barker called me into action by stating “Help Control the Pet Population: Have Your Pet Spayed or Neutered”. There’s nothing I love more than helping old people. I looked around, and found no SL veternarians to refer people to. I had to take these matters into my own hands. I had to go to Furnation and deball as many animals as I could.